Looking back at those photos... thinking about those childhood memories that made life fun, Just makes me wish I had a remote that could just stop,pause,play and rewind to where i became a kid, just so I can experience them all over again..
My family life is difficult..As a child being raised in a Asian family, you need to speak the language and you get disciplined by getting hit by a bamboo stick or just any stick that your parents could find. When I was like 8 or something my dad started to deal drugs with his friends. He didn't think that i'd find out about it, apparently I did when i got to 9 years old. Soon he went to jail for being caught drug dealing and he was there for a long time, My mum told me lies about my dad. She said ' Dont worry your dad's fine, Hes at Queensland for a long holiday ' Living on that lie made me feel happy that my dad was alright, that my dad didn't leave us. Until he came back, he still drugged deals.. when i was 10ish years old, he went back to jail and again living on a lie that he went back to Queensland, my mum thought that me knowing where my dad was actually was would hurt me more than knowing the truth.
Apparently she was wrong, I soon found out when we had a phone call from my dad from jail. I answered the call and he called me from jail, he told me that he was there and he also told me he'll come home soon.
It hurt me to find out that and to find out that my mum lied to me all this long, every night i'd cry to sleep because i was thinking how he was coping in there. When he came home from jail i was happy to see him, i could finally stop thinking about how he was coping in that place. About 6 months later, my parents constantly fight about money,jobs,gambling... everything. My dad would get kicked out of the house and would be forced to sleep in his car or some of his friends house, one night when they were fighting about gambling they screamed,yelled pushed... you could hear the bangs against the walls as my mum pushed my dad.
That night was when we had school, and they woke everyone in the family up. My big brother couldn't take it so he woke up, went out there and told them to shut up, my parents told him to go back to the room but he didn't he yelled at them about how they always fight and never stopped, my mum went to him and took him back to the room to sleep. When he came back he was crying to sleep, i didn't know what to do or what to say, So i asked him if he was alright.. he didn't answer me so i just went back to sleep hoping that he'll be alright.
The next night, i saw my mum.. but not my dad, so i got ready for school and left. When i came home.. still no dad, i thought he would be home soon so i didn't worry. 3 days later he came back, apparently my mum called my dad to come back. When i was 11-12 years old my dad went back to jail for the same reason... My mum knew that i know that he wasn't at Queensland so she didn't have to lie to me, 3 months later we went visit him at his jail he seemed to be happy at the jail, it was fun to see him. We took photos,ate,talked and played in the playgrounds.. he told us that there was nothing to be scared about and that he was going to be home in 3months.
3months passed and he finally came home. Now im not a little kid anymore, im thirteen years and im in high school. Does my dad still drug deals? Yes he does. How did i find out? By coming home 2 weeks ago from school seeing him and his friend drug dealing, He was sooo busy doing that rather than driving me home from school like he usually does. But that day was different, i didn't talk to him for 2 whole days... i couldn't stop thinking about it, i thought he stopped.. Wasn't 3 times going to jail enough?
Now, everytime i try to bring it up he ignores me and talks about my future? Saying i have to go to Uni? Saying i have to be a doctor? I dont wanna do those stuff, and what if i dont get into Uni and get into tafee instead?
He told me '' tafee is not good enough! Go in Uni, Study hard be doctor' I told him ' No dad, Not everyone gets to be a doctor or get into Uni.' He told me to shut up and said ' I'd hit you if you dont get into Uni.'
Hit me? My parents haven't hit me for awhile and now this? My dad saying that to me when he was driving me to school? Rubbish..
School has always calmed me down, unless i was having the worst teachers that gave me a bad mood. No matter what i'd have a smile on my face because of my friends make school just feel fun, just makes me want to smile... everytime. Thats why that im glad to have them as friends, their always been there for me and their the only ones who know so much about me.. and my family. They give me a reason to live.. to love.
Their different in everyway thats what makes them special, their like my family.. the family i always wanted.. the family of my dreams. If i could make a wish about them? What's there to wish of? When i've already have it. Every 11:11 or my birthday, i dont need to worry about wishing about them cause i know were all ways gonna be Forever friends ♥
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